In a Rut

I'm sure I've blogged about this before, but I'm gonna blog about it again, cuz I'm so STRESSSSSED.

Aside from the fact that I had all that drama at work with THE EMAIL.... I'm just NOT FEELING MY JOB RIGHT NOW. First off, I have hella ish to do..... and second, do I REALLY LIKE what I'm doing????? Basically what I do is review language in a contract... A health plan gives me a 50+ page document, I review it, make comments and we (the contracting person on the health plan side and I) go back and forth on whether they're willing to change a sentence, take it out, add a word or whatever... They usually ask WHY and I have to give them a good enough reason for them to make the change because it's "SO HARD" for them to make a change from their base template... UGGH. Whatever. It's so bizarre how I ended up in this job because #1 -- I'm bad at grammar and just at language... I'm just not good at it. AND my vocab is very limited, hahahaha.. and I don't know, I don't like reading boring stuff, hahahaha... and #2 -- I just don't like being aggressive. I'm just not an aggressive person... So when it comes to arguing and pushing my way to get the language my way, I just have a difficult time and usually succumb to their excuse of why they just cannot absolutely change the language, even if it means just adding the word "shall"...... But aside from the fact that I don't like essentially what I do, I really do like being in the healthcare industry... I like currently what's going on in health care....I like how the government is working towards healthcare reform (or was) and learning legislation on healthcare... stuff like that... and there have been times when I get really passionate about changing things or resolving things here at work... but UGGH.. I'm just NOT FEELING WORK RIGHT NOW!

I want something fun.... something where there's no conflict... or where I'm never having to argue.... no stress.... just being happy... but damn dude... my managed care experience hella limits me to JUST managed care jobs... something I WANT TO get out of. Oh, and aside from that.... will there be any job that gives as great of benefits as a hospital? MUN... I don't know dude. I think I'm stuck.